After weeks of scheduling and rescheduling my mother and i finally went shopping on Sunday. My mother, being well aware of how “multi-talented” I am, promptly assigned me various roles. I was now officially the designated driver, the purse holder, the water bearer, her human voice mail service and of course the fetcher of clothes in different sizes and colors, while she took upon the “arduous” task of trying them on.
As i stood outside the trial room, waiting for my mother’s next set of instructions, i realized that most of the girls/women were accompanied by men on their shopping trip. And since i had nothing better to do, i observed this heterogeneous group of men and broadly put them into various categories just for fun. So, here goes:
- The “FAKE” Charmer: This is the guy who had Sunday plans with his friends. They were going to hang out, drink some beer and watch some cricket. Alas! destiny had other plans. Here he was, shopping with his girlfriend/wife. But he looked at this whole shopping thing as just a small hindrance that he could “handle”. He has already called up the guys and said he will be there in an hour. His strategy is simple, flatter her and get her to buy stuff quickly. He restlessly paces outside the trial room and as soon as she comes out, he showers her with compliments. “You look so thin in this dress”, “This one was just made for you, baby”, “This color looks amazing on you.”. For all he cares she could be parading around wearing a garbage bag and he would still manage to say, “You look fabulous, sweetie”.
- The “Nothing is right” Man: He is that man who has come to the mall, wearing a faded t -shirt and some old denim shorts. He is unshaven and has a protruding belly. But all of this does not in anyway stop him from making snide comments about the clothes his wife/girlfriend is trying on. No matter what she wears, he is able to find some fault in those clothes. “The design is too gaudy.”, “The fitting is too tight”,”Why did you even try this dress on?” and the best one “You should lose some weight if you want to wear that”. And as these pearls of wisdom kept falling from his mouth i only wished i had something heavy enough to bash him with, once and for all.
- The Dedicated Boyfriend/Husband: Now this is the guy who has cancelled all his Sunday plans for her. He stands outside, holding her purse, the extra clothes and if they have a child or two he manages to keep an eye on them as well. He is bored to death but he does not take it out on her. And when she comes out, his feedback is honest. “Its a nice one, but i think the violet one suited you better.”, “This looks good”. He does not speak in superlatives, he does not lie. He gives his opinion but does not force her to take it.
As i walked out of the mall yesterday, it made me conclude once again that no matter what type of man from the above you take shopping he is going to hate it. There are no two ways about it. But if you are lucky enough you just might find the man who has the patience to bear with it, simply because he loves you.